Breaking Free by Chris Bunton
What is it?
Well, the idea comes from what happens when you put crabs in a bucket.
One crab will see a way to escape, and as he is climbing up out if the bucket, the other crabs will grab a hold of him and pull him back down.
What you’ll find is that as you try to change your life. People around you will do things to shoot you down.
This can come in many forms.
Let’s say you want to lose weight or be healthy. Well, you’ll find that people around you are not as supportive as you’d like. It’s not just that they live their lives like normal, which is their right. They are not required to support you. But, they seem to actively shoot you down. They invite you to meals, then when you order a salad they make comments about it. They might call you a crazy vegan. They might invite you over to a party and have nothing for you to eat.
Let’s say you want to stop drinking or taking drugs. You’ll have friends trying to get you high or making various comments to stop you, saying things like “Quitters never win”. They will show up, wanting to take you out to party. They will call you while they are drunk, trying to get you to come out with them.
Maybe you want to try a business idea. People like friends and family might tell you it will fail, or how you can’t get a loan, or how they tried and it didn’t work. Just all sorts of things to put fear and doubt in your heart. Do your research and prove them wrong.
They might not mean to. They might think they are helping. But, like a crab they pull you back down into the bucket where they think you belong.
I’ll tell you a story. I knew a young girl who was in grade school. She was thinking about being a dentist. She mentioned this to an older woman who said, “It would be great for you to be a dental assistant, or dental hygienist.”
To which I said, “Why can’t she be the Dentist?”
No answer was given. But, knowing the older woman she probably thought that girls can’t be dentist’s. Or that it cost too much or was too hard.
All these ideas are designed to keep us in our places. We all go to school to be molded into good little employees. Then, we go into college programs for jobs that keep us in the bucket.
Everywhere, we are surrounded by things that keep us in the bucket of our servant lives, for generations. When one industry closes another is created and jobs are pushed in it.
Do not get me wrong. I know we are responsible for ourselves and our own success. I know that blaming others does not help. But, whether we like it or not we are impacted by others. Sometimes, things in our past keeps us down and we do not realize it. Sometimes, we don’t see the control people have over us. Each of us have our own mountain to climb, with all its pitfalls. I simply want to point out a monster that lurks along the way.
I know a boss who constantly ridicules things in his employees private lives. If they have a hobby. He attacks it. If they like to travel, he dumps on it. Instead of lifting people up he drags them back down. It doesn’t matter what it is. You could be the best painter on Earth, and he’ll make snide comments and dump on it. He thinks he is funny and a people person. But, he’s not. You know these people in your own life.
Be aware of the crab mentality. Anytime you try to change things or step out of the mold. You will encounter people and ideas that seek to keep you trapped. They plant seeds of failure, and help water them.
Sometimes, these ideas are in your own mind. You were raised to think it. You had an adult or a whole family of adults who let you know where you should be. These ideas, even manifest in your mind in the voice of the person. Such as, “Quit with these ideas of yours and just go get a job at the factory like everyone else. Grow up”
When I have a thought of fear or failure, I can see exactly the person who has propagated that thought in my mind or life. When I seek to do something new, I can hear the voice of the person who will make the snide comments about it.
It can be family, friends, co-workers, bosses, teachers, or even the music you listen to, or shows you watch. All putting ideas in your mind to keep you in the bucket. To keep you from rising above your station.
Escape the bucket you dirty peasant. Shed off those pincers that grab and pull you back down. How far would you be if the crabs around you had helped instead of dragging you down? Get away from the crabs and find people who are on your side.
The failure I’ve had to overcome would be far less, if I had pulled away from some crabs in my life, long ago.
If only we honestly helped each other.
Maybe that’s the difference between successful people and failures.
Maybe most successful people were surrounded by folks who encouraged and helped them in every way they could.
But, the rest of us were surrounded by crabs.
Fight the Crab Mentality. Many have overcome it. You can too.
Bio: Chris Bunton is a writer, poet and blogger from Southern Illinois. He has published in several magazines, and has written a poetry eBook called “Against the Man” and an Addiction Recovery eBook called “Made Free: Overcoming Addiction“ His newest book is called “The Future is Coming” and is a collection of dystopian short stories.
Follow Him on Medium: https://chris-bunton.medium.com/
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Photo by the writer, Gulf Shores, Alabama. A tropical storm slides by.
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