Recovery For The Holidays

Sometimes forgiveness never comes

I was born a drunk, in a family full of drunks. All of whom are now dead.

Even me.

I drank to escape. Not to escape a bad life. But, to escape boredom. It was a means of going insane for a bit.

It’s strange. 

There was a moment when I drank that I was normal. Happy. Social, and able to function. 

But, I could not stay there. 

Then, the insanity came. A Jekyll and Hyde situation as I was called, by a respectable person who obeys the rules.

My rock bottom involved the destruction of everything, as God set me free.

But, my hate and rage for those who practiced that tough love philosophy burned every bridge forever.

I died. God slew me and raised me up again.

But, those bridges stayed burned. No matter how hard I tried to rebuild them with sobriety and a boring life. 

Too much time filled with shame has passed.

Too much pride and no real reason for them to care for me.

I deserve it. I’m used to it. But, it hurts. Never forgiven. All hope gone. Holidays alone, again and again.

Does new life require the death of the old?

God brought me new life. New loves. New hope. New family. 

And peace.

Holidays full of contentment and love.

Except for that tiny place in the corner of my mind. That misses you. And wonders how you are.

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Bio: Chris Bunton is a writer, poet and blogger from Southern Illinois. He has published in several magazines, and has written a poetry eBook called “Against the Man” and an Addiction Recovery eBook called “Made Free: Overcoming Addiction“  a collection of dystopian short stories.“The Future is Coming” and his latest book “The Latter Days‘ is a book on Bible Prophecy and avoiding the deceptions to come.

Follow Him on Medium: https://chris-bunton.medium.com/

Follow Him on Free Life Blog: https://myfreelifeblog.com/

Subscribe on Substack: https://substack.com/@chrisbunton

Read His Bible Studies on Blogger: https://chrisbunton.blogspot.com/

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