Church Nursery

By Chris Bunton

You were in that church nursery,

where they forced you to play.

They made you share your toy,

with that boy, who kept stealing it.

They got mad, when you beat him,

with that red fire truck.

They said you were bad, and needed

a long time out.

Everyone made a big deal,

and you learned a lot that day.

That day, your mom never went back.

But you went back on that day,

when they let you out of jail.

On that day when you needed help.

When you asked them to share.

To share with the time out boy,

who stole and fought his pride.

And they said no.

No help for you today,

the Samaritan’s not here to pay.

And you never went back.

Workout Thoughts

by Chris Bunton

I’m not going to pretend to be a fitness instructor. When it comes to fitness I feel that if I can out run most people I will escape the zombies. Because they will be eating the slower ones.

I also figure that if I can beat up most people I’ll be ok, because I can stab the rest.

And really isn’t that what working out is about?

Survival, looking good, and being pain free when you get old? Avoiding heart attacks, a fat rump, and bagging a babe? Or maybe beating that guy who looks at your old lady, or cuts you off at the local Walmart.

So, with that in mind, I would like to say that I don’t workout to burn calories. I work out to get my heart rate up, to increase my wind, and get ready to fight big bubba when he comes a callin.

Everything with working out always seems to be about calories. It’s discouraging. You get on the elliptical and you are burning up the miles, sweating, puffing, and feeling like you did something. Then, you look at how many calories you burned and it says “4”.

“4” freaking calories. I consume 50 times that many calories in two minutes.

It’s discouraging. So, I focus on other things. If I get my heart rate up, and stay consistent, good things will happen.

I find that when I stay healthy, eat right, and work out, I’m happier. I have more joy. It’s not a competition. It’s about life. It’s about being useful and productive.

Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs shows that we need certain things to move forward in life. If you are sick, broke and sad, like a beat down old dog, you will focus on that. You will have trouble rising to the next level, because you cannot get your eyes off of your situation. You need to break through with baby steps. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Just go a little at a time, and try to go further next time. It’s better than nothing.

You can move forward. Don’t let things discourage you. Don’t let the devil whisper failure into your mind. Just get up and keep trying. Pray for God’s help. It will get better.

This is what I tell myself. You are welcome to use it for yourself, if you want.

Good Boy

By Chris Bunton

We murdered our dog today.

Or at least that’s how it feels.
We say it’s for the best.
We say he’s suffering.
But, it feels like a pointless death.

He ran into the vets office.
A Good Boy with cancer.
He tripped twice, bumping a wall,
and peed for the last time.

What did he think as he went inside?

Did he trust us to heal him?

Every day is a new day to a dog,
even when they suffer.
They are good. Better than us.
We are not worthy of them.

That Good Boy waited on the table.
He wheezed and sneezed snot.
A lung full of death,
a tumor in his head.
He seemed ok, not so long ago.

The nurses held him,
while Kevorkian stuck him.
Once, Twice, Third time’s
the charm.

That Good Boy relaxed.
He laid down, and was gone.
I felt him leave.
He went through me,
and I died, inside.

That Good Boy’s free,
we tell ourselves.
We will see him again,
on some misty morn.

When we cross over,
through the Veil,
to that distant shore,
where Love and Peace
prevail.

My friend.
That little Good Boy,
wrapped in a blanket
with love, and nothing else,
to say.

I carried him,
and it killed me.
His weight was a
million pounds,
of pure heart.

That little guy died.
A Good Boy, better than me.
I put him in a box,
for a trip,
to his grave.

A pretty field,
where he can run,
and play,
barking like crazy.

Where he can sniff the breeze,
and disappear among the trees.

The Clock Ticks

By Chris Bunton

The Clock ticks,
tick tick tick.
Time drags on,
and on and on.

A million times a day,
 the same thing,
The same dread and hate all day
Every day.

Disrespect, again and again.
It’s my fault once again.
Whether from your mouth,
Or twisting in my head,
Again.

Another prayer to escape,
another prayer for change,
another prayer for peace,
another prayer to forgive,
just another prayer.

Change my attitude
Change my heart
Change my view
Change my dreams

I’m the bad guy.
I’ve changed enough
When is it your turn?

Revenge is yours
Where’s it at?
I don’t want it.

I’m not like them.
They love money,
More than life,
More than me,
and God.

It’s just another day.
A day to wait and wait.
A day to work and work.
A day to dread and dread,

Till we die.

(Bio: Chris Bunton is a writer, blogger and poet from Southern Illinois)

The Two Kitties

We have several stray cats that live in the neighborhood. Most of them are wild. You cannot get near them or pet them. They sneak up and get food, or water, or to be nosy, but not much else.

I’ve learned over the years in my spiritual walk that one of the places that humans can learn spiritual truth from, is nature around us. I’ve learned that the Word of Truth is written in the fabric of everything. The entire creation declares it.

Not only do we have stray cats that are totally feral, but we also have one cat, who through a series of events has become far more friendly with us. This kitty now has a box by our backdoor, and daily food. She also has had kittens. She still won’t let us pet her. But, she follows us around meowing and talking. She sits near us when we sit outside. We love her and take care of her, even though she is still some what wild.

On the other flip of the coin, another stray cat mother, has had her kittens in a bush, at the back of the property. She hisses anytime you get near. We can hear them meowing. She takes care of her babies, and is a good mom. But, her life, and the life of her kittens are very different, than the cat who now lives by our backdoor.

Do you see a lesson here?

The cat who came to us and started communing with us, and trying to have a relationship with us, is protected and provided for. She has our covering over her, and her babies.

The cat who lives in the bush, refuses us. There’s not much we can do without forcing the issue. We still leave food for them, and warmth in the winter as best we can. She still has protection but it is limited. Unless we set a trap and capture her (and others), there’s not much more we can do.

So, the lesson is that when we reach out to God. When we try to have a relationship with Him, and to know Him, He responds to us. But, the truth is that God is seeking a relationship with us, before we even ask or seek. He is the one who puts it in our hearts to seek Him.

We see the good things he does for us. We feel the love that comes, and we want more of Him. His love changes us, and we share His love, and our changed lives with others.

This is the kitty by the door. Through a series of events she found herself drawn closer to the only One who can help her, and make her life better. The only one who can save her. This dawned on her at some point. She brought us a dead kitten. Then, in the middle of a thunder storm, she moved her kittens into a box, we provided by the back door for her family. SHE did that. She KNEW to do that. God is there with Love. He responds and is ever ready. If we even consider spiritual things, it is because He is calling us.

Humans are like the kitty in the bush. We are in a harsh world, and we must survive. We must make it through. We become tough. We hiss and rough it out. That is what this fallen world creates. But, we must realize, that this world is hard for a reason. That it is fallen, and that the hard world causes us to seek something more, something good. Something beyond this misery. Something outside ourselves. And that something, is God. Everything works, to lead us to God, or cause us to work and fight to do it ourselves. That’s the life we choose.

God calls us to Him, and to a life of relationship and spirit with Him. Just ask. Let Him reveal it. He is real, and rewards those who diligently seek Him.

Am I an Addict?

By Chris Bunton

Yes, you are. You might not be sleeping in alleyways with a needle in your arm or standing in line at the dispensary or buying the cheapest liquor you can find, but you are addicted to something.            

Mcdonald’s fries, gambling, religion, Facebook, work, Netflix, sex, your hobby, chocolate, running, stealing, sin, anything can become an addiction. Why do we become so easily addicted? We become addicted easily because; humans were created to become devoted to God, the good things of life, and fulfilling our purpose. Addiction was created for our good, it is supposed to help us focus, but it has become warped.            

The enemy distracts us from what we are supposed to be focused on. Our enemy uses outside chemicals, and internal chemicals and hormones to give us pleasure in order to pull us away from God, the good things of life, and what we were created to do. We are our own worst enemies, it is true. But, we are not alone. There are demonic forces attacking us as well.            

The list I gave you is full of bad and good things.  We must strive and pray for balance in our lives. We must seek to rid ourselves of the things that drag us down and kill us, and rob us. Perfect freedom is you and Christ only. Then, He brings everything else into your life. None of us are perfect. He makes us perfect, when we turn to Him, and then He works on us. I’m showing you what is perfect, so we know where we stand. I’m not trying to get you to give up McDonald’s fries. I’m trying to get you to let God, work in your life, because He knows what’s best. He will help you to remove things, and get you to be glad it’s gone. Our addiction should be God, good things, and our purpose.           

Do I miss being a drunk? Sometimes, I think of the old days, and I remember spending times with friends, cooking food, adventures, excitement. And fun. I start too long to have those things again. But, then I remember the fights with those same friends, puking up those yummy meals, and going to jail on those adventures. I remember the fear of that cop car behind me in the rear view mirror, the loss of family, children, jobs, reputation and my whole life. That settles it. That drives the devil away, and I go longer and longer periods between thoughts like this. Eventually, I begin to hate that old life, and what it does to people. What it does to children and our society.            

We are addicts. The first step is to admit it, and confess it to Him, and let Him remove it by whatever means he chooses. Are you desperate enough to let God take over and remove it? Do you trust Him enough to be willing to fall on your knees and surrender all? Even if He kills you? Even if He takes everything from you? Even if He makes it to where you never see your loved ones, again? Even if He locks you up for good? Are you really desperate?            

We will often fail. These are battles, but we will win the war. We have already won if we turned to Him. Remember that. When we fail, we confess it to God, and let Him work. We keep confessing, and keep confessing, trusting that He loves us, and is on our side. He knows best, and is working to remove that thing we cling to. Eventually, you will see it gone. Eventually, you will have balance and freedom.  Just remain with Him.            

We did not get screwed up over night, and it will also take time for God to work those things out of us. He will remove things as He sees fit, and is best. Trust Him.

(Bio: Chris Bunton is a writer, blogger, poet and editor from Southern Illinois.)

Cell Block Sounds

by Chris Bunton

I was locked up in prison,
on an aggravated charge.
I had stabbed a man like me,
another tough guy, just like me.

I taught myself to whistle,
a dozen well loved tunes.
It soothed me, and brought joy;
in a place where hate ruled the day.

It was night, when we lock down,
and I whistled out the cell door;
into the massive steel hall,
lined with cells, full of hard men, just like me.

“Amazing Grace” flew from my lips,
and floated ghostly echoing down the hall.
A long mournful dirge, like taps,
on a silent battlefield.

The next day I was on the yard in the sun;
when a giant of a man came to me.
He stormed at me with a purpose,
and I got ready for a fight to come.

“You the one whistling at night?”
He asked, pointing a finger at me.
Now I really thought we would fight.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I said, I ain’t no punk.

He softened and looked at me,
his eyes welling with tears.
“Man, I was beat and lying there in my bunk.
I was done. I was ready to give up.”

“But, I prayed and asked God to help.
And just then, your song came through.
That sound of Amazing Grace,
that my momma sang to me…”

“I remembered my Grandma is praying for me,
and that God is on my side.
And I decided to live another day,
to get outta this place.”

He held his fist out for a manly bump,
and I bumped his fist with love,
in a place filled with hate,
surrounded by tough guys, just like me

Stealing Our Rights

By Chris Bunton

Before I went to prison I felt that I had rights. But, as soon as I got arrested, and before I was even convicted, I started to learn that my rights were at the mercy of others, who interpreted those rights differently. Their interpretation always benefited the system, and never benefited me.

I learned that they will lie to you, but you better not lie to them. I learned that even though you have the right to remain silent and not be compelled to bear witness against yourself, it doesn’t mean they won’t try like hell to get you to do it. I learned that you have the right to bear arms, but as soon as you are charged they will try to strip those guns from you before you are even found guilty. And then, if you are found guilty of a felony you will lose the right to bear arms for life. I learned that “Innocent till proven guilty in a court of law” is actually interpreted as “innocent till proven guilty IN a court of law.” Meaning that the only place you’re considered innocent is within the four walls of a court room; if even there.

 I learned that I have the right to not have excessive bail. But, that the definition of “excessive” is not determined by poor people, or even the average American. I learned that you have the right to a speedy trial, after you sit in jail for months. Then, after the prosecutor asks the judge for an extension, you will sit in jail for months more. You have the right to a jury, unless they coerce you into waiving your right to jury with promises that it will make the judge and prosecutor happy. You have the right to a trial, unless they compel you to plead guilty because they threaten you with decades in prison if you don’t plead, and promise you only a couple of years or probation, if you do.

I learned my rights during my divorce, when my word as a man was considered a lie, and I was treated as a criminal while only having the protections of a civil case. It’s where I was considered guilty simply at the word of a disgruntled ex. I was compelled to surrender all evidence of finances, as if I had any. I thought we were to be secure in our papers?

But, that is only for criminals. At least that is what they told me. I would like to see where it mentions a difference between criminal and civil in the Constitution. Where does it say in the Constitution that the burden of proof is different in a civil and criminal case. Does life and liberty not include finances? If you can go to jail for refusal to comply, doesn’t that make it criminal? Could I have an attorney appointed to me for free for that?  Well, of course not. They can garnish your wages, lock you up for contempt, hound you in every aspect of your life, and make sure you cannot escape your “responsibility”.  Millions of Americans have gone through this corrupt family court process, had children stolen from them, been reduced to poverty, and been driven to suicide or other acts of destruction, and nothing changes.

 I could go on and on, but the point is that when I hear people telling me that the law or government, or bureaucrats, will protect my rights, or freedom, or privacy, I laugh, because if they won’t do it in the good times, they sure won’t do it in the bad times.

That brings us to the point, because folks will say, “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.”, and other such witty things. They seek to refuse sympathy to those who have their rights stripped from them, claiming they deserve it. These same people will wave flags claiming to support Liberty, and do not really understand it.

The problem is that those in power have always stripped freedom or rights from the people no one cares about. This allows the rulers to become experts at it long before they strip rights from the general population. Whether destroying liberty is intentional or planned, there is always a potential for a slippery slope.

Our country is based on individual liberty, which is why the Founders gave us a Republic, not a Democracy; we are not to bow down to Rulers, or Mob rule. If we allow rights to be stripped from criminals, or those we label as criminals, then what stops the rulers from making more and more laws, to create more criminals?

Freedom is scary. To be free, we must allow others to be free. We must take responsibility and stand up against real oppression, whether inside our minds or in the world around us. When we are free we might fail, we might fall, but that’s the thrill of life.

In prison everything was provided, everything was equal, and everything was controlled. After leaving prison, I can plainly see how the system that rules us greatly resembles a prison, and grows more prison-like by the day. More liberty is the answer to many of the problems in our society. Not all problems. Some things need direction from limited authority, as the Founders imply in the Constitution.

It’s way past time to wake up and turn back the clock. It’s time to spread freedom, before the door is shut forever.

Illinois Supports Crime

Currently, in the State of Illinois, a citizen who has been convicted of a felony is barred from obtaining dozens of different types of employment licenses. A felon can often work under someone who has the license, but they cannot be the licenses holder. Such as in roofing, a felon cannot be a licensed roofer, but they can be a laborer for a roofer.     
    

This blockage to success seriously affects the earning capability of anyone who has been convicted of a felony for life. In Illinois, that means that hundreds of thousands of people cannot obtain professional licenses to work. That also means that the families of these felons are forced into a lower class and suffer potential poverty. This is a punishment on children who have done nothing wrong. We claim to want to lift families out of poverty, but we have these laws that keep them there. When we take into account that the majority of felons in Illinois are of a minority status; how can we claim to help the disadvantaged, while having laws that bar them from business opportunities?            

In my opinion, these laws are violations of the Constitution, and the concepts of Liberty. Do we really believe in punishing people for life based upon crimes that we would never give them a life sentence for? The fact is that issuing licenses is an administrative task; likewise denying a license is an administrative act. It is a means of punishing people that circumvents Constitutional protections, and due process. A person is to be considered innocent till proven guilty in a court of law. By denying them a license based upon some past conduct, is to judge them guilty of doing potential crimes, in the distant future. This punishment denies real due process, and the presumption of innocence.           

Felons have served their time. The sentence for their crime carried a certain level of punishment that the citizen was convicted of or plead guilty to.  That includes, time in prison, fines, restitution, and probation or parole. Along with other types of conditions that are designed to help the person succeed, such as counseling, drug testing, classes, employment, staying away from certain people, among others. But, all of these have a light at the end of the tunnel. Denying licenses for employment keeps them in poverty for life or very long periods. It can push them to break the law in order to get ahead or make ends meet. When does the punishment end?  Laws have been passed recently that allow some of these licenses to be obtained with a waiver, or are only restricted for a period of time, but many others do not, and employers still do background checks.            

Now let’s be clear, I’m not talking about giving a license to open a daycare to a sex offender, we can have some common sense restrictions. I’m talking about denying all licenses to all felons for life. The list of licenses denied felons is lengthy. Currently dozens of jobs are barred for felons. And we are not just talking about the guy who got out of prison last week. We are talking about people who have broken the law decades ago, and are still treated as criminals. They are barred from having a license to be a roofer, hair dresser, meat cutter, nurse, cna, realtor, embalmer, funeral director, nail tech, and the list goes on and on.            

Now, understand that it’s not just Illinois, but other states as well. What does this do to our crime rate? That’s the focus of this article. Does denying people licenses, cause them to remain in a state of poverty that leads them to a life that leads to criminal acts? Does it cause them to feel hopeless and use drugs?  Does the use of drugs lead to crime? Does addiction lead to theft and more violence? Do desperate people commit crimes? Do people with no hope care about your society? Do these laws push people into crime? How does this affect the recidivism rate?            

Of course, there will be those who blame the criminal, and say that there is no excuse. And yes, we can say those things from our ivory towers. Yes. The criminal is guilty, but we deceive ourselves if we think that there are not many factors that lead to crime. I’m not just talking about the guy who robs 20 liquor stores, and kills a clerk. I’m talking about the college kid who has a future, and gets drunk, and commits a crime. I’m talking about the father who has a beer after work, and accidentally runs over a construction worker. There are tons of people around us every day that committed a crime years ago, and have never crossed that line again. Yet, they are still treated as failed.            

And to those folks who say “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.”  Your cruelty and desire to never show mercy are reasons why folks fall off the edge and hurt others or commit crimes. Criminals are a reflection of society. You have a society full of people addicted to drugs, because they want to escape their misery and slavery. You have people who feel the need to steal because their basic needs are lacking, and they are surrounded by grotesque amounts of wealth, and pressure to succeed. You have people doing violent things, because they have no means of resolving problems. You have people living in a cycle of poverty and crime because the system is designed to keep us down.            

It is past time to start helping citizens instead of putting road blocks in front of them. If the government cannot help them, then they need to get out of the way. If the church will not help them, then they need to stop throwing stones. Felons are not going to just disappear. The poor will be with you always, and will not go away. They will sleep outside your golden gates, while you feast. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. We can love them, forgive them, and allow them and their families to have real chances to succeed. At the very least, our system should no longer be something that can be blamed for a person’s failure. We should strive to be above reproach, and then the blame can truly only fall on the individual.

Are You Growing?


What is God working on in your life? Are there things that you know needs to change? Are you praying for God to show you and help you to overcome things in your life? Pray and ask God to show you what He sees about you. Ask Him to reveal to you, your sins and anything wrong; so you can confess them to Him and start working on them.            

Recently, I’ve prayed about anxiety in my life. My mind often runs amok, with all kinds of concerns and accusations. God has given me a means to resolve this, and I am working on it. That is what I am growing into now. That is what I’m working on. God is working too.            

You might have Anger, Pride, Fear, Doubt, Negativity, Addictions, Materialism, Hatred, Gluttony, Lust, or any number of other things. Are you trying to overcome them? Are you giving them to God?            

Are you working on something to improve yourself? It should be spiritual things. But, it could also be learning a new subject. Learning a new hobby? Are you trying new things, new books, new foods and new travels?            

Are you growing? Are you growing straight or crooked? Maybe you need to be tied up straight? Maybe you need pruned, or fertilized? Maybe you need more light or water? Maybe more space to grow? Maybe there are too many weeds, or insects gnawing at your growth?  
    

Are you growing? Only live things grow. Pray and ask God to save you and bring you to life in Christ Jesus. Pray for Him to grow you, and let Him show you where and how to work on yourself. Let God grow you.